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Em & Fab: What It's All About

Photo courtesy of Emily B social media
Photo courtesy of Emily B social media

There was a video of a reality star/stylist Emily B, and her rapper boyfriend, Fabolous having an altercation. There is a lot speculation around this story, and neither has spoken about it . The video shows the two in a heated argument, in front of their home. But what we know for sure is that Fabolous has been charged with aggravated assault and making terrorist threats. These two share two sons, and are raising Emily teenage daughter from a previous relationship.

I’ve enjoyed Fabolous’ music and became acquainted with Em, when she was featured in the first seasons of Love and Hip Hip. Their portrayed relationship seemed very unhealthy, (which could have been for ratings). Emily and Fab’s recent altercation, has caused many people to speak on their personal experiences with domestic violence. But I believe there is a bigger issue at hand.

What I know for sure is that blow ups are often built up. Very rarely does something so serious ‘just happen’. Signs are often ignored and we play off the hurtful words or actions and we brush things under the rug, hoping it would just cool down and go away. But, I am learning as with all things, its all about how you treat yourself. How are you teaching people to treat you? Are you practicing self-love?

Sure we’ve heard the phrase and thoughts around it but I’m not sure a lot of us actually know what it is. Self love is often referred to as the fun stuff: an solo trip, spa date, retail therapy, or splurging on your favorite meal. Self love is hardly seen as what it truly is, isolation, psychotherapy, following through with tough decisions and setting boundaries and removing yourself, sometimes from people you love. Self love is simply about choosing the best option for you.

How you treat yourself sets the tone for our lives, people often treat you as you treat yourself.

When you don’t love yourself, you seek that love, acceptance and attention from the wrong people and places. But when you love yourself, you refuse to remain broken, you heal, which causes you stay away from toxic people, situations and relationships. You do what’s best for you, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, you speak up and use your voice. You love on yourself, constantly, so when someone doesn’t, you will know the difference. If you truly love yourself, physical abuse would not be tolerated. If you truly loved yourself, I don’t believe you would allow yourself to stay in a relationship that brings out the worst in you. If you truly love yourself, chaos and dysfunction is not something you would constantly engage in. When you love yourself, you attend your well being. I believe self care is the key to living your authentic life. Self love is the key to finding your purpose. It is the key to having the life of your dreams. Self love is a continuous job and as long as your alive, it will require your attention.