#30Layers30Days: Afraid to Want It
Updated: Jun 12, 2018
This is Difficult subject for me because this is something that I battle with quite often. By no means did i grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth I saw my mother and pretty much all my family members struggle and bust their ass every single day to get with the had no matter how little it was.
So when I got on my own, I was often afraid to ask for more than what I had because It was more than what my family members had while I was growing up. And all means I should just be happy with what I have. But eventually, with therapy, growth and prayer, I learned that it was OK to want more and it was OK to get it. I learned not to feel guilty for not wanting to struggle and I’m learning that I deserve not to feel guilty for recognizing that abundance is not a sin, and barely surviving is not an okay life. It’s a process but I’m hoping this helps you as much as it helped me.
Afraid to want it cuz i am not sure I truly deserve it. It always seems to happen for other people but not people like me. I was raised to Be thankful for what i have cuz that was just enough…but what if it’s not? Shelter, food and health and everything else is a bonus. And sometimes i wonder if this mindset has limited me. God is one of abundance, lack is not what He does. Scrapping, struggling and barely surviving can not be the work of my God.
So why am i afraid to ask for true desires of my heart? Why am I afraid to believe i am enough And worthy of what i truly want. I am afraid to ask, i am afraid to LIVE.